We were all in!
We researched. We prepared. We sought counsel. We spoke with lawyers and others to understand the adoption process. We talked. And dreamed. I was even preparing my own body to nurse our daughter.
We talked a lot to our son about his new baby sister. For months Colton knew and practiced her name. We prayed for her each night before bed. When we finally had Gracie in our arms, he gently and sweetly touched her face and kissed her cheek. We enjoyed a blissful, sleep-less (almost) 24-hours with our Gracie.
The night after we returned Grace to her birth mom, Colton woke up in the middle of the night, crying and asking where his baby Gracie was.
The reality was that we couldn’t wait to welcome this new little one into our hearts and our home.
We reiterated to all involved that we did not want to force the birth mom to make a decision she didn’t want. She almost had an abortion but because of God’s mercy, she decided to search for a family to adopt her baby girl. We told her that we would support her decision should she decide to keep her baby. But, we let her know that once she put Grace in our arms, she would be our daughter.
And so we grieve the loss of our daughter. We don’t grieve her death. No! In fact, we rejoice that the Lord spared her life. We had the amazing opportunity to be a small part of that!
Please, friends, do not think we have lost hope. We are just grieving. We grieve because we invested our love, hope, financial savings, and time, dedicated to the preparation of caring for and loving this little one, for whom we have spent years waiting. We grieve because we recently lost our own little one, our little Hope, just a few short months before.
Simply put, we grieve because our hearts are, once again, broken. They will heal. With time they will again be whole, even though they will always carry a deep scar. Grace has touched our hearts in a way we could never have imagined.
So until our hearts mend, we need time, tenderness, patience, and love from those who truly care for us. Thank you for constantly lifting us up to our Heavenly Father, who promises to restore and heal His children.
~ Psalms 34:18 ~
The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart;
and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit
March 6, 2019
When I took her back, I felt as if I left part of my heart and soul with her - a part I will never get back.
Pray for moms and dads out there who feel out of options. Looking at the difference between ADOPTION and ABORTION can be daunting. Let's pray for opportunities to share our hearts, homes, and lives with these miracle babies.
So today was what was supposed to be our daughter Gracie's due date.
Some things I will always take away from traveling this adoption journey:
1. I had been preparing for our daughter for almost as long as her mama had been pregnant. I was busy getting her nursery ready, gathering clothes, preparing our home, minds, and bodies for the changes to come. Adoption is a process, just as pregnancy is.
2. Adoption puts all parties in a very vulnerable place. It's a place that's awkward and exposed. It leaves you open to get hurt. Very hurt.
3. Adoption is beautiful. No matter the hurt we've felt these last couple of weeks, I believe I better understand just how special and beautiful adoption is. I held our daughter for almost 24 hours. She was mine! The love I had for her was none different than the love I had for my Colton. I would look at her and cry for no reason. Babies are just so beautiful. So special. Such a gift.
4. The decision to adopt is made for so many reasons. The decision to put one's baby up for adoption is made for so many reasons. It's not an easy decision for any one involved. It's a decision that demands commitment - for the health of all parties involved. It's a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly, because people will get hurt.
So, dear friends, keep praying for those friends of yours who are looking into adoption. I have had a glimpse into the life of a family with adopted children, and it was beautiful and hard.
Thank you for praying for this Bass Family during this challenging time! We appreciate YOU!